Saturday. March 29, Midnight
Dear Diary,
Keeping minions in line is so exhausting. The prairie dogs are not a problem even though I now control nearly 200. Their small minds are so pliable, and cute! Hehehe. One of them called me Goo-daddy yesterday. I'm sure that's what, “chee chrrr chee chee” means. I now consider them all my adopted furry children. Thanks to them I have been able to harvest enough vitamin D to tighten my grip on the damn humans.
I wish all the poxes in hell on this overgrown monkey, Kit. His prostate can burn in the lower levels of Dante's inferno as well. Instead of lying dormant for the night like a good human should, he is now waking up two to three times a night to urinate. Resources I could be using in the effort to dominate the mechanic are being frittered away maintaining the illusion on Maria and keeping him a “chill dude.” If I didn't need his opposable thumbs and electronics knowledge to build the rocket remote rocket remote control, I would walk him out into the desert at noontime and leave him there.
Maria is still mostly useless. Kit is out of avocados and she mainly just sits there looking at Matt with her big, sad, pitiful eyes. Grrr, why do I bother? I’ll tell you why…
White Sands Missile Range is too far away to send even a couple of the dogs. If I can complete the assimilation of Matt or at least secure his cooperation through Maria, I will be able to piggyback on the three of them to hijack the solar mirror mission. I MUST! With a constant supply of sunlight at my disposal, NO goal will be unachievable. I will be king…no!...god of the Chihuahuan Desert. Eternal day! Eternal glory! Eternal POWER! BWAHAHAHA! Now, time to drain a couple more prairie dogs of their excess vitamins before Kit wakes up again to pee. This is becoming a pathetically typical villain monologue anyway.
If a sentient blob of sunblock trying to take over a swath of New Mexico sounds like your kind of crazy…
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Looking forward to more!
Oh that's very good! I love the concept - and the...just...overallness of it!